On moving forward.
Things certainly have changed since my last update! Good Lord, a global pandemic - these are strange and scary times. Lockdown, though, is treating me well I'd say, though I do miss normal life. I vary from a noble sadness at the state of things, the sentimental yearning to hug my best friend, to the less noble and rather indulgent wishing I could go get a Starbucks and wander around TK Maxx. Often it's all three at once, but sometimes I'm lucky enough to forget it for a while.
I think like a lot of people I am having a few lockdown realisations. Nothing wildly interesting, however, but I am or have been drifting. Lockdown made it worse (here in the UK we're entering our fifth week, but I'm actually on my seventh: my mum's ill-health made me extra careful) - I had all these plans of being stoical and using this period for generally bettering myself and all that, but I've hardly done anything. One thing I wanted to do was tidy up a little, metaphorically speaking. My online life, as some of you will have noticed, has changed - I don't update so much, and I didn't use Twitter so much, so I deleted Twitter (though accidentally locked myself out of Goodreads in the process!) and trimmed down blogs I follow and subscribe to (that was more of a Tumblr thing, though, not book blogs), and I've been idly contemplating the future of this blog. On a less digital plane, there's various things I need to do in the house - little things I haven't done that are piling up. Oh, and the lockdown fitness regime I had planned went out of the window fairly swiftly and, again like quite a few, I actually gained weight, which was not the plan!
It is all very strange, though, isn't it? A few months ago I was thinking about books I wanted to read, places I wanted to go, all those 2020 goals, never thinking, for example, that at some point I'd be praying for the Prime Minister as his life hung in the balance. Happily he seems better now so I can comfortably go back to criticising him and disliking him, but I'll never forget as I roll my eyes and mutter "stupid buffoon" that I had tears in my eyes when it was announced he'd been moved to intensive care. It's trite but true - these times put things into perspective.
So I vowed over the weekend that this is my week for tying up some loose ends, moving forward, and getting some of those things done that have been niggling. I'm starting here, with this blog. This is the plan - I'm not deleting it obviously and I'm not changing url or anything again, but I won't be updating it as much as I used to for now. I will check in now and again, and when I'm inspired enough I will perhaps return to it properly, but as things stand I'll leave it hanging in the ether. I need to focus on some new things: for a long while I've been thinking about my old studies at university - religion, and I'm picking some of that back up. Mainly for spiritual purposes, but I have some ideas I am drawn to explore more thoroughly, I wouldn't say academically as such but I'm not ruling anything out. Whatever the case, I won't be doing this online at present. I do think, though, that in the future I'll be writing things up and sharing it. I'm a very very long way from that, however. But it's good, it feels right, but it has also thrown some complications my way. It's also put my classics reading on the back-burner - I am going to ditch the 2020 reading challenges, and for now my Classics Club list is on an indefinite hiatus - but that's ok - they're always there, and they've helped me enormously in life and will forever continue to do so.
Other than that, the mundane! I'll not bore you with all the little chores - the tidying, the fixing, the plans for fitness. But it is time to move forward, in all respects, and to stop thinking about what I'd like to do and just press on. This was the first step. I'm not abandoning this blog, though, I will update again in the future for sure. Let's just get this pandemic out of the way, and let me get over these various blocks. I don't want to waste another second.
I hope very much that you're all well. Stay safe, everyone!